Friday, December 30, 2011

Top 5 Favorite Movies of 2011

Introduction: Here at Spoiler Alert we tend to spoil things for our readers. I know, shocker. But it's why we don't tend to review good movies. Why would we want to spoil such a good movie? Plus good reviews are boring. They use words from the Reviewers Pop Words Encyclopedia like CINEMATIC, ENGAGING, WELL-ACTED, DEEP, EMOTIONAL, and so on and so forth. Who the f*ck wants to hear that sh*t? Let's start, shall we? Oh, and by the way, I haven't seen every great movie this year so please, forgive me.

Top 5 Worst Movies of 2011

Introduction: Wow, this year sure had some sh*tty movies. And I haven't even seen them all yet! And since it's the end of the year I, of course, must give my favorite movies this...as well as my most hated. Dun dun dunnnn. And while I already had my number 1 and number 2 easily picked the remaining 3 were a bit harder to pick. What makes this movie just sh*tty enough to be number 3? What about this movie saves it from being on this list? These are the difficult questions I must ask not only as a reviewer but for my reader as well... I mean readers! Their is more than one of them out there!

Saturday, December 24, 2011

The Descendants Review

Introduction: People think a reviewers' duty is to tell you whether a movie is good or bad and while that is true it is also so much more. We also tell you if a movie is just a ploy to take your money or not. For instance, while Toy Story 3 is an enjoyable film it's just the second film all over again with some added pizzazz. I can say it's good, but also to just see the superior Toy Story 2 again instead. The same could be said of The Descendants in regards to Up in the Air; the story of the Clooney who doesn't get too drawn into his family is given the duty of giving people some really bad news. It's a good movie, but it has some obvious flaws. Let's start, shall we.

Tuesday, December 13, 2011

Jack and Jill Review

Introduction: I can't remember the last time I've seen a good Adam Sandler movie. Not counting Funny People or Reign Over Me. It seems he is just running the same joke over and over and over and over and over and over and over again... and over and over and over and over. Now when writing this review I wanted to do characters like I normally do, but there are no characters, so I decided to try and do scenes instead, but there is no plot, so then I just decided to go by the usual stuff we've seen in every Adam Sandler movie since they make up most if not all of this piece of sh*t movie... *sigh*

Sunday, December 11, 2011

Revolving: Thriller

Introduction: After Off the Wall didn't win the Grammy for Album of the Year Michael fell into depression. He would walk around his neighborhood looking for someone to talk to only to end up back home sadder than before he left. He put so much hard work and effort into that album. It was his breakthrough. You could call such depression melodramatic since he made so much money and overall success with the album, but there is something about an artist who is left feeling unrecognized that truly resonates. Michael soon got a new manager and said he wanted to be the biggest thing in music since Elvis. He wanted to make an album full of hit singles He went back to the studio and recorded 30 songs with Quincy Jones. These are the first signs that there is something wrong with Thriller...

Friday, December 9, 2011

Twilight 4.0 Review

Introduction: I find that people who hate Twilight are Michael Bay fans and people who love Twilight are Nicolas Sparks fans. I am neither. Yet I found it surprising that when I saw the movie and put a status that I saw it on facebook I was suddenly treated with pity and disdain. Jesus H Bananas, people, it's not THAT bad. Yes, it's bad, but it's not Jack and Jill bad...