Tuesday, September 24, 2013

Why The Lion King Sucks

We all cherish those childhood cartoons and that escapism we felt while watching them, but there comes a time when you must see those cartoons for what they are.The moment you attack the movies someone grew up with they get all defensive and actually try to convince you otherwise. It's ridiculous. They don't have to prove anything to anyone. The thing about movies is that they are enjoyed subjectively. That's why I find it boring when someone says their favorite movies are timeless black and white classics, yet they were born in the 90s. It's like they feel they have to like good movies otherwise they look stupid. It's why so many people like 2001: A Space Odyssey even though they all get numb of boredom in the first 6 hours (real time: 5 minutes). Isn't real love the kind where you accept both pros and cons? My favorite film is Star Wars yet I'll be the first to say it's kind of dumb. A greedy assassin named Greedo? Seriously? The Lion King is a bad movie, but that doesn't mean you're wrong in liking it. So please don't say some bullsh*t argument like:

Thursday, September 12, 2013

Riddick Review

Now that Bald-Actor-With-Gas-Themed-Name has more of an audience backing him up after making the 16th film in a franchise about car chases he can now go back to his passion of making movies about a menace murdering mercenaries at midnight on a marooned meteor. I know it's a planet but that would have ruined the alliteration! In case you haven't watched the other movies in the series just Google them! You can't be this lazy, can you?! Of course not! Anyone who spends as much time as you on the computer must be in shape! Circle is still a shape, right? I hope my friendly attitude makes you want to read the rest of this Riddick review cause we're really gonna roll along right away!

Thursday, September 5, 2013

My Thoughts on Batman/Superman

"Ethan, you seem like a knowledgeable guy. What do you think of Affleck as Batman?" This question just seems stupid to me. No matter how knowledgeable any person is they can not know that which is unknown. In other words, NO ONE F*CKING KNOWS YET. In addition, who cares? This is as infuriating as everyone commenting on Miley Cyrus at some award show thing. I haven't even seen it and I already know everyone is being ridiculous. This is the same reaction Elvis got when he showed off how skillful he was at using his pelvis. Just let her get it out of her and move on. Can we please grow up? Now we can talk about the movie with the invincible alien with a Jesus complex (Don't they all?) facing off against a billionaire who dresses as a bat at night to punch criminals to hide his deep-seeded issues.