Thursday, December 26, 2013

The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug Review

Before I start ranting I guess I should explain what the f*ck The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug is. It's the middle film in a trilogy where dwarves try to reclaim their homeland from a dragon, Smaug, by using an unexperienced hobbit named Bilbo to steal a jewel from the dragon that will give them the right to rule over all the dwarves. Thankfully, the leader of these dwarves is the rightful heir to the dwarves' kingdom so it's all okay. This is all based on a fairly small and simple children's book written by J.R.R. Tolkien about greed, courage, and maturity. But Peter Jackson don't give a f*ck about any of that! Let's watch a 2 hour story stretched into a 9 hour film!