Lockout/ Blue Like Jazz/ Cabin in the Woods Review

Introduction: F*ck, this was a busy movie weekend. I actually can't believe how much time I spent sitting down in a theater burning my eyes out. So I decided to do another trifecta on movies. But before I start I just have to say this; go see Cabin in the Woods. It's an amazing movie that I keep hearing people say is like Hunger Games. IT IS NOT LIKE HG. That movie was a simple post-apocalyptic story. This is something completely different and I reallllly don't want to give it away because it's THAT good. See it. Now back to our reviews!

The Raid: Redemption Review

Introduction: My favorite action film of all time is Die Hard. I f*cking love that movie and even enjoy the rest of the series (sans numbah 2). The reason I'm telling you this is because The Raid: Redemption is the kung fu version of Die Hard. It's absolutely amazing. No seriously, it's my favorite movie of the year so far. I've seen it twice. I want to see it a third time. I want to bring as many males as humanly possible to see this movie. And females if they are hunky dory with blood, violence, and a hell of a lot of awesome. The film is actually a set up piece where a SWAT team raids a drug lord's building only for things to go horribly wrong. Now our hero must save those who are still alive and escape the building. One man. A building full of baddies. People to save. Sound familiar?

Hunger Games Review

Introduction: When I went to see this movie I came 20 minutes early yet still had to sit in the very front row. Their were a lot of tweens but I thought nothing of it. Boy was that stupid. I soon found out these tweens were the same ones who were screaming when I saw any Twilight movie. This put me in a somber mood as the movie played and I had to sit through 2 and half hours a yard from the silver screen as a crowd of idiots were screaming behind me about how hot Peter was. STFU!!! I'M TRYING TO WATCH THIS GOOD MOVIE!!!

Casa de Mi Padre Review

Introduction: Do you know what telenovela means? You don't! Well I'm here to enlighten youuuuuuuuuu. Telenovela is the mixture of television and novels. Get it? TELE-NOVEL-A??? Anyways, it's Spanish soap opera. And guess who decided to make a parody of it? Willlll Ferrell! Git it! He's white! Anyways, the movie is about a rancher named Armando whose brother, Raul, returns home with much fortune for the family's dying business as well as a beautiful fiance who Armando falls for. But a twist of events unravels their lives as drug lord Onza has come to kill Raul and take his fiance for his own. Dun dun dunnnnn! Let's get into what exactly makes up this film, shall we.

Project X Review

Introduction: I'm not much of a party guy. I don't get drunk. I don't take drugs. I don't even dance that much. I like to keep a clear head and stay focused. Just like I do in the movies. But I've been to a rave or two, and I've been to several parties. So I can say quite easily that this is definitely a party movie. DUH. It honestly brings up memories of those 70s and 80s movies like Animal House and Weird Science except this one seems to be made for the smart phone era... And thus for stupid people.