I f*cking hate writer's block. I haven't written anything in so long! You know what?! F*ck it!
This is the End was the funniest movie this year,
Much Ado About Nothing was the best Shakespeare adaption I've seen since
Romeo + Juliet,
Man of Steel forgot to include Superman,
Monsters University was a fantastic prequel albeit weaker,
Lone Ranger was a piece of sh*t until the end,
Turbo was average,
The Wolverine was average,
Only God Forgives was the worst movie I've seen since
Sucker Punch, and
Elysium was the best movie this year that just made me want more! Who is ready for a review of
Kick-Ass 2?! No one!? Okay!
Hit-Girl
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| I still think Big Momma's House 2 was the performance of her career. |
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Oh, you're still here? Oh sh*t. Umm, I guess I can say some stuff. Not a lot to say though. Maybe I'll buffer everything with comic book stuff. So Hit-Girl is trying to fit into normal girl society even though she's basically a sociopath. It's quite funny witnessing the first time she listens to a boy band. I would have loved a scene where she just watches "best of vine" stuff on YouTube and just be utterly confused at the prospect of twerking. Buffer Time! Have you noticed that Hit-Girl and Big Daddy look eerily similar to Batman and Huntress? She's a purple-wearing daughter of a bad ass (who talks like Adam West) who isn't afraid to kill. Thank Gawd they didn't base her on Damian or else she would have been stabbed and shot to death.
Justice Forever
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| I love that the parents are still looking for their son. Time to punch drug dealer |
Jim Carrey is pretty funny in this as Colonel Stars and Stripes but the real fun is Justice Forever, a group of vigilantes who have some legit reasons to fight on the side of justice. It's interesting to watch Kick-Ass, a punk kid who just did it because he loves comics, be seen as a sort of idol by people trying to stop the sex slave trade, child abduction, and homophobic bigotry. It's interesting in that it shows the simple actions of an idiot can lead a movement. Or some sh*t like that. While I'm on the subject of teams all of you reading this (All two of you! What? My shadow counts!) should check out the last issue of
Demon Knights at DC Comics. It is by far their best team title that's fun, controversial, world building, and just extremely well written. Halfway through they switched artists and writers and not a beat was skipped. That's rare, if not impossible.
Kick-Ass
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| Doesn't this image just capture his name perfectly |
This was seriously the only picture of Kick-Ass I found where he isn't pushed to the side or given second billing. For a movie titled
Kick-Ass 2 this movie would be exactly the same without him. I always liked the idea of Kick-Ass though because it was the exact same origin story as the Flash. Any Flash for that matter. A roughly young comic nerd who looks up to those heroes in the panels chooses to become a superhero and save lives. Jay Garrick was inspired by his father, Barry Allen was inspired by Jay and Shazam, and each consecutive version was inspired by the latest.The only difference being that the Flash is the greatest superhero ever and if you disagree I will punch you in your stupid face, stupid!
The Motherf*cker
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| Dude, cover your mouth when you yawn. Oh wait, you're evil. |
So McLovin wants to kill Kick-Ass because Kick-Ass killed his father. That's actually a good reason. It's more of a reason to be a super anything than motherf*cking Kick-Ass. It's also pretty hysterical how he names his minions with slight racism causing his last remaining form of family to be a little disgusted in him. It's funny because as a comic book nerd like Kick-Ass he bases his decisions off the comics and knowing that comics can get that kind of racist is a nice tongue-in-cheek aimed at the industry. I also must add that why is it okay for heroes in Marvel to kill but not heroes in DC? Whenever Iron Man kills a foe we all cheer about how he deserved it, but if Superman were to kill Zod as a last resort we're all pretty disgusted by it. Did Zod not deserve it? Was he not going to be executed anyways for his crimes against humanity? I'm not taking a side, just making an observation on how we view our heroes.
Conclusion
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| Am I the only one annoyed with that hyphen? F*ck you, hyphen! |
Super was still better on every conceivable level. Yeah just see
Super instead. Rainn Wilson is a gem in that film. Up next:
The World's End!
